I Will Never

This is part of a series which I will entitle, “Getting to know myself better through writing” aka “Becoming less of a hypocrite as an English teacher,” aka “Doing what I make my students do every day.” You may or may not choose to embark upon this journey of self discovery with me, because I’m going with or without you, but it would be nice to have you along for the ride! (Thanks April for the great idea!)

Part 1: I said I would never do this, but have, and I’m better for it.

1) Become a teacher -
(I think that I may have mentioned this before, but I’ll run the risk of redundancy.) Growing up I always knew that I loved the English language and literature, and that I wanted it to be a part of my life. But, if asked what I wanted to do when I ‘grew up,’ I would always reply, “Something with English, but not a teacher!” I think the reason for my abhorrence of teaching wasn’t because I had bad teachers, but because I had GREAT teachers! I doubted that I could be that good. I doubted my knowledge. I doubted my ability to control a class. I doubted that I could make a difference. I think that Heavenly Father was pushing me in that direction as well because I was called as a Relief Society teacher twice in two different singles wards, and as RS Pres. in another ward. Each calling forced me to re-evaluate my preconceived notions about teaching – I had a great time doing it. As I started into my education I realized that teaching was a great way to be able to work in the field that I love and still be able to raise a family – the hours were good. I have learned so much about myself by teaching. Yes, the first year was hard; not just because I had to get a million lesson plans ready, but also because I was trying to figure out the type of teacher that I was. Well, I figured it out, and the kind of teacher I am is…wait for it…wait for it…AWESOME! ;) I’m lucky enough to teach at a private school for girls with tiny class sizes, (my biggest class had 3 girls), and I get to do all my prep work at home and spend more time with my baby toddler. I’m blessed everyday because I swallowed my doubts and entered into this great profession.

2) Get married young -
This was never in the plans for me. I was never one to be in relationships in high school, and I had issues with commitment. Which I think every teenager should have commitment issues as far as relationships go; it might solve a lot of other problems, but I digress. The longest ‘relationship’ that I had before Greg was about 3 months long, and I was kind of impressed with myself at the time. Greg says I was a player, but I think that I was just learning the type of guys that did or did not suit me, and because of that I was led to him. He doesn’t buy it. Greg and I got married when we were 20 and 22. (I was actually two weeks away from being 20, but that’s what I say so that I wasn’t a teenager when I got married…even though I was.) We were both strong, independent people, but now acknowledge that we had a lot to learn. It has been such a great blessing to learn, and continue to learn, those things together. In a sense we have grown up together, and I think that we love and understand each other all the more because of that. The icing on the cake was having a baby. Does anyone ever feel grown up enough, or old enough to have a baby? We didn’t, but I think that we’re doing a tolerable job with our little crazy lady.

3) Live in Southern Utah -
I thought that I would just have a quick jaunt down here for school and then move right on. But there’s just something about this place. I may complain once or twice (a week) about the lack of shopping and other resources, but I really have fallen in love with this place. I love the pace. Even rush hour traffic isn’t too bad. And you only have two lanes to worry about on the freeway. I love that you run in to everyone you know at Wal-Mart a few times a year. I love the weather 90% of the time, and I feel guilty that I don’t partake of the amazing outdoor activities that are in abundance in the area. But even with all of the ‘small town’ feel there is ‘culture.’ Here’s my shout out to the “world famous” Shakespearian Festival! We may not stay here forever depending on jobs, but we plan to thoroughly enjoy the time that we do have here.

4) Become a frumpy mom -
It’s kind of freeing, really. I was never much of a girly girl, but I put a little effort into my appearance here and there. I’m not saying that I’m always a frumpy mom, but that I allow myself to be once in a while. (Anyone wanting to nominate me for “What Not to Wear,” feel free!) I like that my priorities have shifted from being more concerned about how my baby toddler looks than myself. I have even found that I dress to match her. If she has a super cute outfit on, and we’re going out somewhere, I think twice about just throwing on a hoodie and jeans. Now, don’t think that I am going to, or ever will, show up at church wearing the same dress as my kid, but I like that it’s not all about me anymore! My mom would be proud. Maybe I should start a Facebook group for frumpy moms of the world?!

5) Buy sugary cereal -
I grew with a diabetic mother who would never allow “nasty” sugary cereals in to our house. For the most part I was okay with it, and when we got LIFE of Honeycombs I thought I was the luckiest kid around. I don’t want to be one of those 100% organic or health food obsessed people, (sorry John and Kate plus 8). I do prefer healthy food most of the time, but I also believe in moderation in all things. I could never be a vegetarian because if I restricted myself from one thing it would be all that I could think about, and I would snap! I think that I would turn in to the Hulk on a rampage for meat and no animal would be safe in my path! This is why I will never diet. Ever. I will just eat all things in moderation – some things moderately more than others, but moderation nonetheless. In addition to moderation, I also believe in justification. If I eat good stuff MOST of the time, then I can eat the junk here and there, right? I thought you would agree! Doesn’t justification just make the world a better place? One of my favorite comedians, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPu8453j1m8, talks about the best way to justify eating bad stuff. He says that if you eat a carrot with a Twinkie, then the carrot just says to your stomach, “It’s okay. He’s with me!” And all is well. I’m going to go have a carrot and some Cookie Crunch!